Tag: Fantasy

Blog, Fantasy

Alton Towers – What I’d do if I were in charge

Loops&Lapbars

Here’s a big park to tackle with this blog series. Alton Towers.

For me, the park doesn’t really do many things wrong, it has some of the UKs premier attractions such as Nemesis and The Smiler. It’s also been a testing ground for many worlds first attractions such as Air, Oblivion and Th13teen and I’ve personally had some of the best days out here.

That being said, there is still room for improvement. As the park has added new attractions and rethemed areas, it’s caused a few issues here and there with existing rides.

– THE MAJOR CHANGES –

Rita and the Dark Forest

The first big change that really needs addressing is Th13teen and Rita. Poor old Rita gets a lot of flak for its ride duration and theme. When it first opened in 2005 in the Ug Land part of the park, it didn’t really fit, and with the opening of Th13teen and Ug Land becoming Dark Forest, its theme was altered to fit the area.

I actually like the idea that Rita was once a drag racing machine that is now abandoned and used to escape the forest, but I know that not everyone agrees.

To remedy this I’d either take Rita out entirely and sell it onto another park or move it somewhere else in the park so another more fitting ride can occupy its space. As for what I’d put there, I’m not 100% sure!

One idea I’d like to see is an Rocky Mountain Construction (RMC) Raptor coaster, similar in concept to Rita but executed in a much better manor. The ride would be racing away from the creeping vines and roots as Rita once did, but since Raptors are capable of tighter turns, this would lead to a much better experience. The ride would be custom built and heavily themed to really bring the Dark Forest to life!

Failing the RMC, then maybe a really good quality interactive dark ride. Something like Gangsta Granny but with interactive shooting elements and more special effects.

Dark Forest could also do with a permanent supporting ride in place of the current Retro Squad offering. Something like a Chance Rides UniCoaster or even a new type of log flume/water ride to absorb guests.

Galactica

The second issue with Alton Towers is Galactica. Similarly to the issue Rita faces, Galactica doesn’t really fit its area. When it was unveiled in 2002 as Air, the world’s first ‘true’ flying coaster, it didn’t fit with Nemesis in the Forbidden Valley section of the park.

While Ripsaw and The Blade, were both themed to look intimidating and threatening and Nemesis themed to a dangerous monster, Air was themed to be more tranquil and quiet and almost an escape from the terror surrounding you. In 2016 it was updated and transformed into Galactica, with a space flight theme. This still didn’t work and personally, I think this is the biggest mistheming issue that Alton Towers has, more so than Rita.

At least with Rita, the ride is trying to fit in with it being used as an escape vehicle! Air/Galactica hasn’t ever fit in properly with Nemesis or its supporting rides.

So what would I do? I’d certainly not scrap Galactica as I think it would do great in another park, such as Drayton Manor, Flamingoland or Oakwood. In its place I’d put another beast of a ride. Maybe a floorless rollercoaster, another flying coaster, or even a B&M Wing coaster. Name it Vindicator or something similar and have it up to the rider to decide if its themed to attack the Nemesis monster, or to aid it in its destruction!

– THE MINOR CHANGES –

Mutiny Bay and Wickerman

So we’ve tackled Rita and Galactica, next is Mutiny Bay. This area is perfectly fine for the most part but it could be improved so much to fit Wickerman in. All they’d need to do is loosen the pirate theming a little, add a lot more wood and a few fire torches and make it more of a cultist village. Wickerman would fit right in then!

Katanga Canyon

Katanga Canyon is also fine, though I’d give Runaway Mine Train a little attention. I’d turn the tunnel into a properly themed mine, and spruce up Congo River Rapids so the water elements work and maybe add new interactions along the way!

Duel and Gloomy Wood

Working our way around to Duel and Gloomy Wood. I don’t know if Duel could be moved to Dark Forest and rethemed to the dark ride I previously mentioned, or kept here and given a full refurbishment.

Assuming the latter, I’d look at slowing the cars down during most of the ride, overhauling most of the scenes so there is more to look at and shoot. Next I’d give it small coaster elements like a section where the guns aren’t used and the car travels much faster around twists and turns and down hills and such. Really amp up the haunted house strikes back as I do like the idea that the house is actively out to get you and you’re fighting your way through. Air blasts and water jets would be excellent additions in my opinion!

X-Sector

X-Sector is almost perfect. Assuming Enterprise is running and The Smiler and Oblivion are doing their thing then little needs changing here. However, Enterprise is regularly down and suffering quite badly with its age now, so maybe it’s time it was replaced with a newer permanent ride.

For its replacement, I’d go with a Zamperla Gryphon. It has a similar style to Enterprise but offers something different at the same time. Still giving single rider experiences and looking great to boot, but also having good throughput and theming flexibility.

I feel that when Mixtape was in the area that it fit right in (aside its colour scheme). So I’d love to see a permanent version of one of these installed where it initially stood (and Spinjam now occupies). Either that, or one of Zamperla’s Blendez models. These look just right in my mind for X-Sector, and probably aren’t as intense as they look too!

The rest

CBeebees land, Gloomy Wood, Towers Street, World of David Walliams, The Towers and gardens are all absolutely fine as they are. I wouldn’t change anything here. I’d change out Spinball Whizzer for a Mack Spinner, in the same vein as Storm Chaser at Paultons Park, but a little bit more intense.

The Hotels and waterpark are also great, little changes if any needed here too. Extraordinary Golf could use a freshen up, though I’ve heard that they’re in the process of doing so for its 15th anniversary this year.

Finally there’s the car park, monorail and entrance. I think the monorail windows need clearing so you can see the park properly as you travel from the car park to the main entrance.

A new purpose built entrance should be made at the Galactica gate for car park users and hotel guests, with a speedy lane used for hotel guests to keep that special element included in overnight stays.

There was a lot to write about here. Alton Towers is a fantastic park as it currently stands and I’m more than happy to visit with its current ride line up and themes, but I’d love to see it taken to the next level. These are all purely hypothetical ideas that I’ve had, and the probably isn’t anyway an RMC Raptor could be used to replace Rita, or Duel having a huge overhaul, but it’s fun to discuss nonetheless!

Leave any comments down below, start a discussion, lets see what else Alton Towers could do!

Blog, Fantasy

Flamingo Land – What I’d do if I were in charge

Loops&Lapbars

Welcome to a new series of blogs I’d like to introduce. In these blogs I intend to talk about many of the UK’s parks, what I like and what I don’t. These are purely from a fantasy point of view and more so, just a bit of fun!

I’ve been meaning to talk about Flamingo Land a few times now. We visited in July 2021 and I did intend to blog about our day but was kept busy with the holiday blogs so it fell to the wayside. I feel there is a lot to talk about with this park so thought I’d do it here at the same time as discussing changes I’d make if I were in charge!

The good stuff

Flamingo Land has some really decent rides, especially its roller coasters. Velocity, Mumbo Jumbo and Kumali are all fine examples of their respective types, and a couple are quite unique in their own right. Velocity is the only Booster Bike rollercoaster in the UK, Mumbo Jumbo is the steepest, and though people give Hero a lot of negativity, it’s a unique take on flying and the only Zamperla Volare in the UK too.

The spiral lift hill of Hero

The zoo is also good and though it has a lot of different species, it isn’t too spread out and kept to one side of the park, away from the noisier rides. I also like that they do a lot of work for conservation, much like Chessington does in their zoo.

The not so good

The first thing I think needs discussing with Flamingo Land is its dire lack of proper theming and how untidy the park looks!

The park does have named areas such as Metropolis, Dino Stone Park and Lost Kingdom Reserve, but they all feel a little lacking. Dino Stone Park is probably the better area in the park as it has a few dinosaurs scattered about and a bit of theming here and there but not much!

There is also a fair few buildings that are standing but either don’t have a use or have seemingly been left abandoned. Specifically around the side of Velocity. Now this could be an access route for construction traffic to build their new rollercoaster, but if this is the case, couldn’t they close it off from view a little bit? If it’s not the case then they could really utilize it better than leaving it in a state.

Will this new ride open in 2022? Hopefully!

Next is the shocking lack of merchandise on offer at the park. This will be a common complaint from me in many of my future ‘What I’d Do’ blogs.

So what would I do about it?

We’ve seen what Paulton’s Park can do with their theming and I’d love to see Flamingo Land get the same sort of treatment.

Metropolis would look great with some facias put up around Hero, include the new 10 inversion rollercoaster and Velocity in the overall theme and add a shop beside Velocity that sells Metropolis ride themed merchandise.

Velocity is the only Vekoma Booster Bike ride in the UK.

Lost Kingdom Reserve could do with seeing a load more rock work and planting, and a general tidy up, repaint some of the existing theming on Mumbo Jumbo and Kumali and add a bit more static theming here and there. Maybe some tribal huts or a campsite or something like that.

An overview of Splosh, and the River Reserve areas of the park

I’d put some really good quality animatronics in around Dino Stone Park too, and really lean into the prehistoric theme! There’s some decent rockwork surrounding Pterodactyl that I’d love to see extended a bit more around the area, and the plants and green spaces spruced up.

Navigator in action

The entrance to the park could do to see some work too. I feel that the Pirates of Zanzibar show and stage are great to welcome visitors but the area surrounding it hasn’t got the same theme and it feels a bit mismatched!

To the left of the entrance is a large plot of unused land that I feel could be used for a new entrance to the park, with it leading through the lost River Reserve area before Metropolis. To achieve this, I’d swap all the rides in both areas around so that you’d be greeted with a safari themed area, before the other areas of the park.

This is of course a purely hypothetical idea as it would cost far too much to move the rides about! It would mean that you’d see Lost River Reserve, followed by Dino Stone Park and then a Pirate themed area too before Metropolis.

As for the ride line up at Flamingo Land, personally I think its decent. It has a good mix of thrill rides, transportation and gentle rides, as well as rides for younger audiences too. I don’t think much is needed at the park, especially when their 10 inversion rollercoaster opens, but they could maybe do with a few more flat rides here and there, or an interactive dark ride!

A Peahen and her chicks

I’d really like to see an obscure record breaker here again, since Mumbo Jumbo did once hold the record as world’s steepest roller coaster. Something along the lines of that, or maybe a particularly long coaster or an exceptionally themed one would go down well.

I don’t really think anything needs removing as such, since most of the rides seem to fit in the parks overall line up, though I would remove Flip Flop and replace it with something like a Top Spin, heavily themed so it fits in the Splosh area of the park and make sure it interacts properly with water jets.

Another drone shot showing more of the park

I know it used to have a Waikiki Wave called Tidal Wave until 2008, and it would be great to see another one as they’re dying out all over the place and it would fit right at home here.

I’d also do some work on Mischief Mansion and turn it into an interactive shooting ride, along the lines of Laser Raiders at Legoland. Keep the theme and family friendly fun, but add some guns, targets and activatable effects to help it stand out from the others. I know we have a good selection of these in the UK, but only Laser Raiders and Sheriff Showdown have interaction between the targets and animatronics.

I’d leave Muddy Duck Farm mostly untouched as it’s a fine area on its own. The rides suite the area, there isn’t much theming but I don’t feel it needs it.

Other than that, I think the park isn’t bad in its current state, but far from the best. I’ve essentially laid out my hypothetical plans to turn Flamingo Land into Paulton’s of the north. I think Paulton’s is a great park on it’s own but Flamingo Land has much more thrilling rides so could very easily stand on its own, especially since Lightwater Valley seems to be moving towards a younger audience!

Final thoughts

For me, Flamingo Land sits somewhere between Fantasy Island, Oakwood and Drayton Manor. All 3 of those parks do similar things to Flamingo Land, targeting the audiences that Merlin Entertainment and Blackpool Pleasure Beach don’t manage to entice into their properties and Flamingo Land should be doing the same.

Currently it’s probably middle of the table when stacked against the other attractions here in the UK, but with investment and a good plan for the future, it could easily sit on par with Paulton’s Park or even play with the big boys like Alton Towers or Pleasure Beach!