I’d like to preface this review with two things, firstly I really liked Duel and never rode the original Haunted House. Secondly, I’ve only ridden The Curse at Alton Manor twice, so I might not have seen everything the attraction has to offer.
With that being said, The Curse at Alton Manor is a great ride, but not perfect. The ride takes place inside the same show building that Duel (and The Haunted House before it) used and follows the same track layout. The biggest difference between Duel and Curse at Alton Manor is the lack of guns, so no shooting this time around.
The set pieces use a few of the old Duel props such as the walls that move, giant spiders, a few smaller props as well as the old trommel tunnel which now works properly. Otherwise there are a lot of new props built into entierly new scenes. I’m not going to spoil anything that goes on in any of the scenes as it’s best ridden without know what’s coming, but I will say there is one effect mid ride that gives Hex a run for its money with how it messes with your orientation!
The story of the attraction is that Emily Alton lived with her parents at Alton Manor and on new year’s eve of 1892 a storm hits the house and supposedly kills everyone with Emily disappearing. The preshow tells you all this and then goes on to have Emily tell you exactly what happened. I’ll leave that for you to see as it’s a great preshow in itself.
The first time we rode it, I got off thinking that I did enjoy it but it was little bit overhyped. There are some great effects used in the attraction and the story is excellent but the ride itself seems to run a bit poorly. Our first ride kept stopping and I didn’t know whether it was part of the ride or not. Our second run was much better as the car continues to move throughout the ride and didn’t stop once, but I noticed that some scenes didn’t play the same as they did earlier. Now I hope this is intentional as this makes the ride very reridable and I hope it’s not the case that the attraction wasn’t working correctly.
It’s difficult to say how I truly feel about The Curse at Alton Manor as I didn’t get off with the same kind of excitement as I did when I first got off Gangsta Granny or Hex but I much prefer the story and set pieces of The Curse at Alton Manor. I really, really enjoyed Duel and I think that’s what makes it so difficult to say if it’s good or great when compared with Duel or the other dark rides I’ve mentioned. It’s definitely good and I can’t wait to get back on it but I wasn’t blown away with it like a lot of people have been. I think this one will certainly take a few rerides to fully take it all in and help me properly make up my mind!
The area outside the ride is great though as it now features live actors and props that really add to the charm of the attraction. The same can be said for the shop as you exit. This has had a good bit of attention and is inkeeping with the ride and area’s theme so you never lose the immersion of being in the Alton Manor during the events of the curse.
We’ll be back in a couple of weeks for Festival of Thrills and I’ll make sure to have another ride or two to try and cement what I feel about the ride. It took a few rerides of Flight of the Sky Lion to fully appreciate that, so maybe it’s the same here. For now though, I enjoyed The Curse at Alton Manor and look forward to trying it again throughout the season!
Such a long title for a blog, and a long day too! This was our first ever theme park enthusiast event and was hosted at Alton Towers and put together by the fine fellows at Your Experience Guide(YEG) (Formally Pleasure Beach Experience).
The day started off early at 8am where we all congregated around the turnstiles of Alton Towers, we were checked in and greeted by the YEG team and given our event lanyards and passes. Once we’d gotten sorted, we just stood around and took in what was going on before eventually noticing Loops and Donuts, someone who I’ve been messaging back and forth with on Facebook and was excited to finally meet! We accompanied each other throughout the day and we had a right laugh, so thanks very much for that folks!
Once Alton Towers were ready for us, we went though bag checks and followed the YEG team to Wicker Man for the first of our two sessions of Exclusive Ride Times (ERT) for the day. Exclusive ride times are blocks of time set out, usually outside park hours, to allow complete takeover of a ride or attraction. In our case we were given ERT on Wicker Man from 9:00-10:00 and Oblivion from 18:30-19:30. In this hour, you just keep riding and riding as much (or as little) as you like and it was fantastic! Not only did we get to essentially pick whatever row we wanted, but also the trains were filled with likeminded individuals who were waving at everyone and just generally creating a real buzz of an atmosphere. Such a great time, and this was only the first part of the day!
Once our ERT had ended, we moved onto the shop to see what new merchandise was available this year. I was a bit disappointed to find very few things in 2XL sizes. Because of this, I ended up with a couple of pairs of socks and about 10 pin badges. These were priced at £8 a piece which I think is incredibly expensive, but I had set aside money for T-shirts and hoodies that I couldn’t buy so badges will do nicely.
Next we made the long trek over for our first ride on The Curse at Alton Manor, the reimagining of Dual in Haunted Hollow. I will be doing a blog going into detail of what I liked and disliked, and my overall impression of the ride but for now I’ll say that it was a great ride with some really unexpected sequences! Look out of the new blog here when I write it!
Galactica was our next stop and the ride was suffering a little from a breakdown which meant we ended up queuing for a bit longer but once they cleared the issue, we had a good ride on the old flyer. There does seem to be a little bit of attention being given to Galactica, as it has had some new decals placed about and tidied up a bit. It still could do with a good paint or cleaning, and the tunnel is still very bare, but a good ride nonetheless.
Now we’d finished up with Galactica, we headed over to the Skyride to find that it was closed, and had been all day, so we made the long walk through the gardens towards Dark Forest to see what was happening with Rita and Th13teen. After seeing the queues and noticing the time we decided to have dinner at Burger Kitchen, ride Flavios Fabulous Fandango and head over to Katanga Canyon for the second part of the event, an unofficial takeover of Congo River Rapids at 3pm.
Though not the same as our ERT earlier, this takeover saw the whole group join the queue for Congo River Rapids with the general public and have a right laugh doing so! The boats were being filled, ours had the full 7 in and we barrelled down the course, getting wet and having a few good bumps along the way. This is definitely the best way to ride the rapids!
Next stop was another unofficial takeover, this time on Curse at Alton Manor. This gave us ample time to not only compare it to our earlier ride, but also see things we missed the first time.
The next part of our event was at 18:30, so that left us with about 3 hours to fill, so we headed back up to Runaway Mine Train for a ride on the classic coaster. The area and theming has seen a good tidying up and the entrance looks brand new again thanks to a lick of paint and some sprucing up! It still rides the same as it always has, and it was a squeeze to get into the cars, but we managed and a fun time was had by all.
Our next stop was back over in Dark Forest for a ride on Th13een and Rita. Th13teens queue line has seen a lot of the trees and bushes cleared away, opening it up a bit and you can even see the coaster as it does the outdoor section in the forest. I quite like that you can see this, but it is also a shame that it doesn’t look so overgrown and supernatural now. A back row ride for us which was great fun!
Our next stop was Rita but this ended up being our last stop for the day as when we entered the queue, an announcement was made that Rita was experiencing technical issues but we stayed in queue as there was still another 35 minutes of park time left. By the time it came to 5:45 however, the staff informed us that the engineering team still hadn’t arrived and by the time the arrived, fixed and sent test cars out, it would be after 6pm, so we headed into X-Sector for the Smiler Shop (as the Smiler was also having issues).
The Smiler shop was the same story as earlier unfortunately. Lots of great merchandise to buy, but nothing at all in 2XL here. Now I’m not sure if I should be asking whether they have things in my size, or whether they just don’t get as many lines in 2XL as they used to, but I hope we see more larger sized apparel!
With the Smiler shop being our last stop, the final part of our day was an ERT on Oblivion. It was scheduled to run from 18:30 until 19:30, however there were technical issues that meant the ride wasn’t ready in time. However we weren’t left to be bored as the ride operators, specifically Kian (I think that was his name) had us playing a game where you have to try to catch the finger of the person next to you while the person on the other side does the same to you. Great fun and loads of people interacting keeping the atmosphere positive whilst things were fixed in the background.
Shuttles did eventually start raining down the Oblivion track, so they allowed us on at around 18:50 and our hour started from then which was great to hear! I don’t remember exactly how many rides I got on Oblivion, somewhere around 8, but each one was fantastic and really showed me how much fun Dive coasters are. I usually overlook Oblivion as a one and done sort of affair, but I had a lot of fun doing back to back rides on it, made all the more fun by Tracy, Loops and Donuts and the rest of the crowd!
At this point I would like to mention the staff at Alton Towers as every single person we spoke to seemed interested in our day and our wellbeing. We were constantly checked if we were having a good time, and it never felt forced either. The staff always felt as though the actually had an active interest in your day and conducted themselves professionally and were very welcoming!
Finally I do want to thank all the folks at Your Experience Guide for making the day run as smoothly as it did and put on an excellent event! From greeting us at the start of the day, to keeping us informed throughout and even just shaking my hand and thanking us for coming at the end of the day, it all added onto a very memorable visit to Alton Towers! The same can be said for Loops and Donuts too. As I mentioned earlier, we spent the whole day together and we thoroughly enjoyed their company (and I think they did ours too!) Thanks again for a great day, and hopefully see you on our travels in future!
Photo taken by Paul Young and used with permission (Featured image too)
Recently I’ve been seeing more and more people voicing their opinions and concerns over the Retro Squad at Alton Towers, and I thought I’d put my thoughts out there too.
To be completely blunt, I think they’re good and certainly do their intended job of helping with capacity. Don’t get me wrong, it would definitely be better if Alton Towers got some permanent, well themed flat rides instead, but the Retro Squad are a good second best.
I like that they have at least put some effort into making them more than just bog standard fairground attractions. They all have proper names and their frames are covered over with boards to make them look a bit tidier. They even have a little back story that they come from an alien planet and are summoned to assist. They do lean a lot on the 80s Transformers idea but I think it works well. If Michael Bay can make vending machines turn into Transformers, then Merlin can make park attractions!
The most recent Retro Squad ride, Twistotron seems to have had the most exposure as it has its own video showing how it’s been corrupted by some form of evil transformer, which I would read into it being some sort of villan. My hopes are that it is run at full power and shows off how fairground attractions are run, as the other Retro Squad rides are run a lot slower than they would be if they were at a local fair.
Roller Disco is a prime example of this. Its a standard Waltzer but is run slower so you barely spin at all. I’ve only ridden it once, and I enjoyed it as I find waltzers make me ill if they spin too fast, then stop, then spin too fast again. Roller Disco was a nice change as it didn’t make me ill at all, however I know many people have differing opinions, Tracy included!
Mixtape in June 2021
Mixtape was a great little ride that if repainted and themed up a little would have been a decent ride to permanently fit into X-Sector. I don’t think Spinjam fits as well as what Mixtape did but still has that sort of sinister look to it that could work, at least a little!
Spinjam in 2022
The other ride is over in Forbidden Valley being Funk n’ Fly. This is a standard Super Trooper attraction and I don’t really have any feelings for it at all. It possibly could fit a little in with Galactica I suppose but only very loosely!
This year’s offering is Twistotron, a Trabant style, self built attraction that usually tours around Scottish funfairs and is placed on the site where Enterprise used to sit in X-Sector. I haven’t ridden this one as yet but I don’t think it is best suited for X-Sector. It would have fit a little better in Dark Forest or even on a plot of land by Spinball Whizzer to give that ride some backup.
I suppose really, my opinion is that they work well enough, they could be better and some would be better placed in other parts of the park.
I’ll definitely agree with the masses that Alton Towers needs some really good flat rides but what I don’t agree with is that funfair rides have no place in a theme park. Chessington is just about to open a new Jumani themed area and it’s two supporting rides are both things I would see at every funfair out there. A junior Miami Wave and a Super Jumper ride are both funfair attractions that are themed up to fit the area. Then there’s Ripsaw and Rameses Revenge. Though neither of these currently exist, they were both static installations of rides that are capable of touring the fair circuit. I could go on and on but I think I’ve started to make a dent in my point!
The point is that most people seem to jump in them for being funfair rides. Rides that have no place in a theme park. Rides that aren’t wanted and other things should be put in their place. Yet no one suggests any alternatives or even takes into account how many flat rides out there are perminant versions of touring rides (Mamba Strike, Ostrich Stampede, Vortex or Wave Swinger).
I think the new Intamin Dynamic Motion Stage would fit great in at Towers, or if that’s more of a dark ride then a Zamperla Energy Storm or Blendez, or how about a Technical Park Aerobat or Gerstlauer Sky Fly?
There are many different rides out there, and I bet a couple of the ones I’ve mentioned will end up on the touring circuit.
As for Retro Squad? Let’s just enjoy what we have, let Alton Towers use them to their advantage and hope that we start to see replacements for Ripsaw, Energiser, Submission and Enterprise in the near future!
Last year, we officially started our season at Paultons Park, then Alton Towers, so for this year, we decided to try Blackpool Pleasure Beach. They’ve moved their opening day to line up with the other UK parks as they usually open up in February which meant deciding between Alton Towers or Pleasure Beach and since we’re at Alton Towers in 2 weeks, we thought we’d try Pleasure Beach this year!
We arrived early, with plenty of time to find parking, stop for breakfast at Velvet Coaster and then join the queue to enter. We started queuing at around 10:10 and by 10:30 we were waiting at the security check in. There was some entertainment put on while we waited and it did feel similar to waiting for the fireworks at Alton Towers some 4 months ago, anticipation and a buzz from the crowd! Amanda Thompson OBE was present to have a little ribbon cutting ceremony. We couldn’t hear a word she was saying though as her microphone wasn’t working but it was still great to get the chance to see Pleasure Beach’s premier!
Security was opened about 10:50 and we got through quite painlessly, though my DSLR camera was put under a bit of scrutiny by the security guard who had to ask another if it was ok. There did seem to be a lot of issues surrounding this throughout the day, Twitter was alive with many other people who had had their cameras confiscated and were expected to pick them up later in the day. There was a lot of confusion about it, but since then Pleasure Beach themselves have tweeted saying that this was an error and no one should have their cameras taken off them or stopped from entering because of this. Great to see them noticing a problem and resolving it!
Once we’d finished with security we headed straight for Icon as it’s usually busy and meant we could join the queue when it was shorter and get more into the day. Icon was running two trains and there wasn’t much of a queue at all by the time we’d got there so it was essentially a walk on! Icon is still as smooth as it has been in previous years, but this particular ride felt a bit juddery. I don’t think it was the track though as it almost felt like the train was rattling about a bit. I’m not sure what it could have been but it was very noticeable on our ride, thought didn’t spoil it or anything!
As a side note, the ride attendants were very helpful here and Tracy did have a little issue with the lapbar being locked in place so they moved us to the back row where the restraints are bigger and then we had no issues at all, no fuss was made by anyone and we were dispatched in no time.
Our next stop was Big One as it was open and the queue wasn’t too long for a change! On previous visits, Big One has opened slightly later than other rides, something it shares with Grand national and Big Dipper, but this time around, everything seemed to open at the same time which is a great change.
As for Big One itself, it was only running one train as the others weren’t ready for the seasons start which meant that capacity was quite poor for such an A list ride at the park. Icon didn’t suffer from this throughout the day but Big One did and I feel that that is something that needs addressing. Big Ones operations have always been somewhat slow, even when they’ve had 2 trains on, and I think its about time they did something to get 3 trains running optimally!
As for the ride itself, its the Big One! A fast, rattly old beast that despite having new sections of track, still rattles and jerks around the layout a little more than it should. Personally I don’t mind it as its not too uncomfortable, and the first drop more than makes up for it. I just feel that retracking it hasn’t made much of an overall difference to the ride experience, but operations have. Still great fun though!
At this point I’d like to put out a little moan about another guest in front of us while we queued for Big One. He was concealing a GoPro in is pocket and as we were talking, told us that once they were on the lift hill, he’d take the camera out and start filming on the ride. I find this so infuriating as I’d love to record some of the UKs biggest rides, but ultimately can’t as the park is strict about who can and can’t record on their rides. Individuals (like this and many other I’ve seen on YouTube) taking it upon themselves to flout the rules is infuriating as all it takes is for that guy to drop his camera or for it to hit someone. Not only will someone get hurt, but the park will then clamp down on camera usage at a time when there are already tensions about cameras in the park! Please don’t think you’re above the rules and can do something you’re not supposed to. It makes it harder for the genuine folk to get permission to do the things we love doing!
Once we’d finished on Big One, we headed off to get our refillable drinks for the day. Here lies another little issue that needs ironing out. We visited T – Café up by the Wallace and Gromit ride and explained that we’d brought our cups back and would like to pay to be able to use them again. we were told that we couldn’t reuse them, and that we’d have to buy another new cup to be able to take part in the all you can drink offer. This is a bit silly in my opinion. Why can’t they just sell the stickers they put on the cups so it doesn’t matter what cup you have? It saves some plastic waste and stream lines the process a little. What would have taken 2 minutes to buy a sticker, activate it and fill the cup up took about 15 minutes! I don’t have any issue with the rules here, and I don’t want a discount for reusing my cup or anything, I just don’t want to feel like I have to buy yet another plastic cup unnecessarily and cart the old one around too. We got sorted in the end though and headed off towards Ice Blast!
The queue for Ice Blast was about 20 minutes and the ride is an honestly good fun shot tower. It takes your photos, it doesn’t mess around and it give great views over the park when you reach the top! Though not quite as good as Flamingo Lands Cliffhanger, it’s still worth a visit, especially if the queue is shorter.
A visit to the shop next for a look at the new merchandise. It was great to see a lot of great new Valhalla and Big Dipper branded things, ranging from hoodies and t-shirts, to necklaces, bracelets and pin badges. We’ll hopefully be returning later on in the year to ride both Valhalla and Big Dipper (as both were closed today) so we left with one of Big One’s old wheels and a Coaster Cutout model of Big One. I really love that you can buy old ride parts here, as it not something many other parks do. Drayton Manor and Oakwood do this and you can rarely pickup something from Alton Towers, but Pleasure Beach have always had a decent range to pick from.
Derby Racer is next up, and I think this is rapidly becoming a ride we will endeavour to ride on every visit. Though not the most exciting or spectacular ride at the park, it is a unique kind of ride and the carousel organ plays the music you’d expect, but also more modern music rendered into the organ style. I really like that feature as I is in keeping with the carousel attraction but keeps the music fresh and interesting.
After Derby Racer, we went and had a look around the new Valhalla area. Though most of it is closed off as the ride isn’t quite ready yet, the area looks so clean and tidy, nicely planted and professionally done. I know the groundwork was already there from the previous iteration of Valhalla, but it does look good currently. Boats were being cycled and the waterfall was running, but that’s all that can be seen from outside! I’m quite excited to see what they’ve done inside as I never got the chance to ride the old version.
Wallace and Gromit’s Thill ‘o Matic next and despite it giving the same ride every time we visit, it still feels like the first time I’ve ridden it! The scenes are of a great quality and look exactly as you’d expect them to, the audio is excellent and the queue line plays videos of the Wallace and Gromit shorts, so you don’t get bored whilst queuing! The shop was also stocked with a few new items, many of which Tracy came away with, including a T-Shirt, new badges and a wooden poster. The tills were playing up a little in the shop though, a theme that seemed to emanate through our day as many of the scanners on the rides were also having a few technical issues, but we got through just fine.
Our next stop was a ride on Avalanche, the UKs only bobsled coaster. We love Avalanche, probably more than we should but it is an enjoyable ride, if a little lacking in places! We had a front row here and it was a nice built up ride, slower at the top and rocketing down the bottom. The station could do with a spruce up internally as it’s quite dusty and just lacks a bit of attention but outside looks great! The trains also look brand new too, I’m not sure if they are, or if they’ve just had a lot of attention over the closed season. It did only run 1 train again, the other could be seen in the service area as you depart so the queue was a bit slower than it should have been, but we didn’t wait longer than 30 minutes so no grumbles here!
After a short toilet break, of which all the toilets we visited were immaculate, we headed down to Red Arrows Sky Force for a ride as the queue was shorter than we’d ever seen it. We waited about 20 minutes or so for the ride and though I love the ride and I’ll be going into detail in a future blog, the ride operators did leave a little to be desired if I’m being completely honest.
I did try to fit my bag into the storage area between the boarding area and exit, but because its a bit bigger than most, it didn’t fit. One of the operators insisted that I put my bag in there and I explained that it didn’t fit and he didn’t seem to understand when I told him I was waiting until I could board to pop my bag over the fence to collect on the way out, something I’m sure he’ll take away for future guests with larger bags.
The other ride operator then told us off for playing with the wings while we waited to be dispatched, a bit gruffly in my opinion and without a please or thank you too. It’s only a small thing but I took that away from the ride more than my experience with the ride itself. Hopefully they’ll settle in a bit as it was clearly their first day running the ride so I’ll give them some slack! It might be prudent to put some form of warning in the queue line to advise people to not play with the wings whilst the ride is on the ground, include it in the audio track that plays when queuing or lock the wings in place until the ride starts as a suggestion, but I’ll know for future visits anyway!
At this point we’d ridden all we wanted to ride and just had a bit of time around the park watching the goings on, visiting the Icon shop and taking some photos and videos before we headed out of the park for an evening in Blackpool.
To summarise our visit of Blackpool Pleasure Beach, I’d say it was good, but not great, at least not yet. The park looked good and clean and a lot of the rides have had a tidy up but some of the issues we faced could have been sorted before opening I feel. The lack of training from some of the staff members about camera usage and the till systems was apparent, some of the rides (Big One) really needed a second train running to help with throughput and the scanners could do to be looked it too.
That’s not to say we didn’t have a good time at all, far from it. Most of the staff were really nice, one even bumped into us twice and on the second encounter she checked in with us to make sure we were having a great time which felt welcoming and genuine, I didn’t catch her name unfortunately!
I think Alton Towers’ opening day last year was a little smoother than Pleasure Beach’s this year, and I’d like to come back again for next years opening to see how it compares again. Overall though, a good day and more of a taste of a park that can really come into its own this year once everyone finds their feet, Valhalla and Big Dipper open and the small issues corrected!
There are plenty of rides in the UK offering new and exciting ways to thrill you. The smiler can send you upside down 14 times, Stealth can launch you to 80mph in 1.8 seconds and Odyssey can take you to heights no inverted coaster in the UK gets close to. However sometimes you have to look to the past for something new to thrill you.
Step in Wicker Man. At the time of writing, this is Alton Towers newest attraction. A wooden rollercoaster manufactured by Great Coasters International, themed to a cult worshipping a Wicker Man and sending you as sacrifices to feed the flames!
It stands at 22m (72.2ft) tall, has 795m (2608ft) of track and reaches speeds of 43 mph (70.2km/h) and replaced the much loved Flume attraction. It is marketed as the first wooden rollercoaster to incorporate fire into its theming and the first wooden rollercoaster in the UK in 20 years. The last being Megafobia at Oakwood.
Now I love Wicker Man. I like the theme, I love the ride experience and I particularly enjoy the scent pods they use in the preshow, but there are some much older woodies in the UK that can give the new comer a run for its money! So how does the newest major woodie stack up against its older compadres?
The first I’d like to compare it to is Roller Coaster at Great Yarmouth Pleasure Beach. This is one of 2 scenic railways in the country (the other is at Dreamland Margate) and despite it being over 70 years older than Wicker Man, it still manages to top it’s top speed, reaching 45 miles an hour! Though the ride isn’t quite as thrilling as Wicker Mans’, Roller Coaster is still a great ride and comes in just behind Wicker Man’s biggest competitor, Megafobia.
Megafobia is a Custom Coasters wooden coaster located at Oakwood and is very well received as woodies go. This is the UKs fastest woodie, reaching 48mph (77km/h), reaches heights of 85ft and is 2956ft long. So Megafobia edges out Wicker Man in all categories, though it has no theming at all. When I first started writing this blog in mid 2022, I’d have said that Megafobia was the top woodie in the UK, but Wicker Man is bedding in and feels like it’s getting better and better with every passing season. There is little to split these two in my eyes, but Megafobia does give the more uncomfortable ride, not too harsh at all, but because of that small factor, and the theme difference, I’ve put Wicker Man above Megafobia. Atleast for now!
The next contenders for best UK woodie (that I’ve ridden) are all at Blackpool Pleasure Beach. Nickelodeon Streak, Grand National, Blue Flier and Big Dipper. Blue Flyer is a good little kids ride but not quite in the big leagues and I’d say the same is true for Nickelodeon Streak too. Though Nick Streak has a great layout with loads of hills, I feel it takes them a little too slowly and doesn’t give as much airtime as the layout might suggest! It does slightly edge out the next competitor though.
Next up is Big Dipper. Turning 100 years old this year, this is a classic wooden rollercoaster built by William Strickler. It cost £25,000 in 1922, which would be over £1.9 million today, not bad when compared to Wicker Man’s £16 million!
The ride itself has age related roughness to it, though certainly not the hardest ride at Pleasure Beach. It will throw you into unbanked corners and drop you into the dips with a lot of force. The same can be said of Grand National which is arguably the most hardcore of the UK wooden coasters. If Big Dipper throws you into corners and dips, then Grand National launches you into them. It’s certainly not for the faint hearted and it can feel very intimidating, especially if you’ve ridden Wicker Man first!
I feel that Grand National gives the truest wooden rollercoaster experience as it feels raw and untamed, it’s noisy and rough and good fun to boot. Tracy will tell you it’s horrible, which is somewhat understandable as the ride can assault you as much as it thrills! I do enjoy Grand National, but if Wicker Man is a nice and velvety smooth wooden coaster, then Grand National is a slap in the face followed by a stiff drink. Brutal and yet fun.
There are a few other wooden roller coasters in the UK that I’ve yet to ride, such as Scenic Railway at Dreamland Margate and Antelope at Gullivers Warrington. There’s also Tyrolean Tubtwist at Joyland but I don’t think Tubtwist is of the same type as all the other woodies here. It does have wooden side panelling along the sides of the layout that are needed to help the cars spin and though it is classed as a wooden coaster, but that’s all there is, it hasn’t got a wooden structure or anything else, where all the others I’ve mentioned have.
Antelope looks like great fun and has a decent layout so I’d expect that to rank quite well but since I’ve not ridden it, I can’t rate it unfortunately!
So to summarise, here is the list of how I currently rank all the UK wooden coasters!
This is quite an exciting blog to write as we’ve somewhat finalised our plans for the coming year
This year, as I put down in my 2023 resolutions blog, we were hoping to get across to Europe and thanks to our latest bookings, we now shall be! I’ll go into a little detail later but to start our season, we’ll be at Blackpool Pleasure Beach! We only had 1 trip there last year so it’ll be nice to get back on Big One, Icon and celebrate Big Dippers centenary. We would have been going to Alton Towers for the opening weekend, however…
Next up will be Alton Towers in April for the Your Experience Guide (Pleasure Beach Experience) event. I’m very much looking forward to meeting like minded enthusiasts as well as getting a few rides on Wickerman before the park opens! I’ve never been to an enthusiast event so this will be my first and something I’m very much looking forward to.
Our big trip this will be in Europe as I mentioned earlier. We’ll be going in mid May and our route will take us to 6 different parks and will take us through 4 countries, starting in France, then Belgium, The Netherlands and finally Germany! Our intention will be to take the Eurotunnel across to France then stop the night before visiting Plopsaland De Panne for the first time. Next will be Bobbejaanland then onto Efteling for 2 days, stopping in the Holiday Village Efteling Loonsche Land.
Then we’ll have a day off to see the surroundings and then onto Toverland! Next stop will be Phantasia Land for 2 days, stopping in their Hotel Charles Lindbergh. Finally we’ll visit Walibi Belgium on the way back to the Euro Tunnel and the UK.
All in, we should have the chance to ride up to 42 new rollercoasters, as well as plenty of flat rides and other attractions.
Not only will we be visiting 6 new parks, seeing new sites, eating different food, but I’ll be driving the whole way too. I’m don’t know whether I’m more excited about the chance to drive new roads, seeing new things or the fact I’ll be doing it all with Tracy too.
Not only will we be making a grand tour of Europe, but we’ve also got annual passes for Drayton Manor this year. This is the first time I’ve ever held a park specific annual pass and it’ll supplement our Merlin annual passes too. We intend to visit Drayton Manor for their new events so the annual pass makes financial sense!
We’ll also be threading in visits to all the Thorpe Park events, not only to compare and contrast to last year, but as part of the competition being run by Thorpe Park to have a chance to be the first to ride Project Exodus when that opens! I won’t be able to visit every day as we live over 220 miles away, but you have to be in it to win it, so event visits will have to do!
In the autumn, we hope to make a final trip across to France to visit Disneyland Paris and Parc Asterix over Halloween as we’ve been to neither park and want to see both! We will definitely make a concerted effort to get to Fantasy Island for Fear Island again as that was a definite highlight of last year!
Finally, we’ll try to get back to Paultons, Chessington for the new Jumanji area as well as my home park, Flamingo Land, to see how Sik is settling in.
There’s so much to be excited for this year, from trying out Taron and F.L.Y, to Baron 1898, Troy, Fury and The Ride to Happiness! Along the way, I’ll be comparing these to their closest UK offerings, such as Icon being our closest thing to Taron etc. I also can’t wait to see all the themed areas, try out the food, trying to speak German and French again and just having an overall great time this year!
I will, of course, be doing blogs for each visit and possibly trying out video logging (Vlogging) for some, starting with the Alton Towers event in April!
During the course of the 2022 season, we visited Thorpe Park a lot. Coupled with 2021s visits, I believe it makes it our second most visited park after Alton Towers. So, much like the Alton Towers blog, I think it would be fun to break down Thorpe park as though I were in charge!
The Good Things
Thorpe Park has some excellent coasters already, Stealth being my favourite there. Then there’s Saw, Swarm and Nemesis Inferno. All of these need very little doing to them at all.
The Walking Dead is a great little indoor coaster, that has great theming but can sometimes fall a bit short when there isn’t any live actors around the show building.
The park itself is also quite compact so getting from The Swarm to Saw takes no time at all, especially when compared with Alton Towers!
I particularly like the Amity area of the park too, its 1950s Americana theme, coupled with the destruction caused by Tidal Wave makes of r an interesting way to theme an area, and its executed very well. The radio station that play sin the area, WWTP is a laugh but also plays some excellent era defining tunes.
The Not So Good
Colossus
Colossus is the first big issue that needs tackling in my eyes. The coaster has recently celebrated its 20th operating season and has direct competition and comparison with Sik at Flamingo Land. Though I don’t feel that Sik will ever over take Colossus as the fan favourite, Sik outclasses colossus in pretty much every way except for theming and landscaping.
As Colossus is well established, the area surrounding it is quite pretty, well planted and a nice place to be. However, some of the theming elements have grown to look a bit tired. Take the cobra roll out for example. There’s plenty of room for a water feature there, and with the UKs weather, the pit usually has some water in it anyway, so why not make this and actual water feature, with fountains and such?
Then there’s the trains themselves. These need replacing as they are nothing like as good as the ones that Sik has. The lap bar restraints offer so much more freedom of movement, open up the train much more and make it much easier to get in and out of. I have read somewhere that Sik’s trains won’t fit on Colossus’ track as the versions are drastically different which would make it difficult but certainly not impossible to rectify! I hope Intamin can do something here.
Access issues aren’t only an issue that Colossus has, Stealth and Rita have the same issues, where the restraints are so bulky that the make it a bit difficult to get in and out of. The difference between Stealth/Rita and Colossus is that Stealth/Rita don’t need you to pass your bags across the train, where Colossus does. Siks trains make this much easier to deal with! Perhaps this issue could be somewhat alleviated by having baggage drop off before the station in someway.
Demographic
Thorpe Park has been through a lot of changes over the years, changing from a family orientated park, to a primarily thrill seeking park. I think this is a good idea myself as there are plenty of parks out there that cater for family’s, plenty that are focused on kids but fewer have a purely thrill seeking audience, especially in the UK. I think they should really try to add a few more thrilling attractions to the park specifically designed for younger audiences. That way the park can remain the thrill capitol of the UK as well as catering for families too. Legoland and Chessington are close enough that they can cover for the families who don’t want too many thrills, leaving Thorpe Park there to cover thrills!
If it were me, I’d be looking to couple together the few smaller attractions currently at the park into their own area, possibly closer to the Thorpe Shark Cabins. Flying Fish and Depth Charge are already ideally located for this, but High Roller could be moved closer to them, along with Mr Monkeys Banana Ride. Thorpe Park recently built a playground for kids right by Depth Charge so I think this makes even more sense.
This would not only make an area of the park that younger audiences could stick to, but would also help to alleviate another issue concerning Thorpe Shark Cabins that I’ll touch on later.
Project Exodus
This will be Thorpe Parks newest coaster, being the tallest in the UK, and possibly also the fastest too. However if I were in charge and I could do what I wanted, I wouldn’t be building exodus in its current form.
The old town section would still be used as the station area, but I’d have gone with a traditional style giga coaster that would really put Thorpe park on the map. Not only to UK guests but to international guests too.
I’d make it at least 300ft tall and have a drop that is slightly longer than that, going under ground for added thrill factor, coupled with a truly monstrous Inversion or two would see this version of exodus dwarf the current offering. I think the current plans look good, but I share a similar feeling with the rest of the theme park enthusiast community in that the proposed ride did initially look a bit underwhelming. I’m sure it’ll be fine of course, but I think a huge out and back would have looked much better myself.
Plus Merlin could get very excited in marketing the UKs first and only Giga coaster. nothing else even comes close to the 300ft height I’d be intending to build, let alone the drop I would have added. Once again though, I think the current Exodus plans will still be thrilling and a good addition, just somewhat lacking as to what they could add. Thorpe Park is, at current, the only park that could realistically add something of this height, assuming planning permission was granted of course!
Angry Birds Land
Angry Birds land sits on a substantial plot of land, has 3 attractions and splits Amity in two, separating Stealth from the rest of the area.
I’d leave the Dodgems where they are, but theme them to Amity instead of Angry Birds, move Detonator away, possibly towards Saw and bulldoze the rest!
The 4d cinema takes up so much space, along with the surrounding buildings that I think this could be better used as free space for permanent stages and show areas. Thorpe park has added a few more events over the past few years, and they lack proper areas to stage their shows, relying on any remaining free space to erect temporary installations.
If Angry Birds land was moved, not only will it bring back continuity between Tidal Wave and Stealth, but it would also allow for a large covered area for their new shows and entertainment to take place. I think the Angry Birds property has somewhat fallen off in recent years and it feels a bit dated too. Though Thorpe Park, and Merlin in general seems to really like IP based areas and attractions as of late.
Storm Surge and Rumba Rapids
Storm Surge is a bit of an eyesore, sticking out in the skyline and not really offering much in return. Rumba Rapids on the other hand was a fun little attraction that has had a lot of the life drained from it with recent incidents on UK rapids rides.
I’d look to remove then completely, and have them replaced with a water coaster. I’d put the coaster over where Rumba Rapids is as that occupies a lot of land so would make for a much more impressive layout, and it keeps it away from Tidal Wave which should be the main focus of the area it’s in.
As for the site where Storm Surge sits, I’d probably put in a flat ride of some description, something that would fit in with the Amity theme, not take up too much space, but have a good capacity for the crowds. As for what I’d put there, I’m not so sure. The first thing that comes to mind is a Waikiki Wave, a variant of the Top Spin model made by Vekoma. I know I’ve already suggested that Flamingo Land bring theirs back, but having a ride that repeatedly rolls over and over, situated directly across from Tidal Waves splash zone makes perfect sense to me!
Thorpe Shark Cabins
The onsite accommodation is decent but not perfect. The cabins are quite small but have enough in them for a basic stay. I’d look to make a permanent hotel with cabins as a budget option, and compliment this with more well equipped rooms for a bit more luxury.
One of the biggest glaring issues is the sheer lack of anything to do after the park has closed. To combat this, I’d leave open the arcade in the centre of the park, as well as having access to the smaller rides I mention earlier, Flying Fish, Depth Charge, High Roller and Mr Monkeys Banana Ride. With these being smaller attractions, they wouldn’t need as much man power to run but would still give guests something to do besides the very lack lustre offerings in the Dome.
Live entertainment could be put on in the new staged area I proposed earlier too, or the Dome could be used for this too as that is under used currently.
Derren Browns Ghost Train
Finally there’s Derren Browns Ghost Train. This attraction needs a lot of work I think. I get the idea behind using VR to isolate you from the outside world but the headsets are very clunky to get on, and I don’t feel offer all that much. The idea is quite good but the execution is terrible and even with a refresh it still doesn’t quite hold up to expectations.
I would look to remove the ride completely and replace it with a really good quality interactive dark ride. I bet no one saw that coming!
To help it stand out from the others in the UK, I’d lean it heavily on the horror theme, like Dual, but dialed up to 11. I’d have it run slower in most places so you can take in the scenes properly, speed the cars up in certain parts to give it a sense or urgency where needed and employ actors as well.
Not only would having live actors make it so they could chose where and when to scare you, but it would also be utilised as a scare attraction during Fright Nights too. If I had to, I’d attach and IP to it, but it would be reluctantly as I don’t think IPs are needed on well themed attractions myself. However if forced to, then possibly Stranger Things would work or go down the route of Dead By Daylight and turn the game into a ride?
Since writing this, Thorpe Park has removed all mention of Derren Brown from the ride and rethemed it to Ghost Train. It remains to be seen what the attraction will run like, but I doubt that it’ll be a huge change from what it was before, but we’ll see. For now, I’ll stand by removing it and putting in something new.
The Little Changes
I’d start by cleaning up Saw as the queue line has gotten very over grown and makes it look a bit of a mess. I don’t think it keeps in with the Saw theme myself as there are plenty of show scenes in the queue line that are slowly getting lost to the wilds!
A full renovation of Zodiac should be done to keep the ride going for as long as possible as Enterprise rides are starting to become quite rare and it would be great to see this ride go completely vertical and look it’s best too. Same for Vortex, Rush and any of the other rides that need it, just a good clean up of their areas and signage.
Stealth’s station could do to be covered over a little; as with Rita, both stations are open to the elements and having a bit of rain protection would be great! The queue line could do with a bit of a tidy up too, but nothing major.
Some of the retail outlets could do with being used or closed down entirely. During our visits this year, we really wanted Mexican food from Sombreros, but it’s never open. Same with Colossus hot dogs over in Lost City, that’s never open too.
I think this might be an overall issue with the Merlin Parks in general and it does mean that expansion is much easier but they seem to build new food outlets into the areas anyway leaving the old ones even less use!
I’d definitely want a better size range for their clothing too. I’m a 2xl and I have never seen any 2xl clothes at Thorpe Park, or Chessington for that matter too. Though they do stock this size at Legoland and Alton Towers, so I’m not sure why Thorpe Park doesn’t have larger sizes.
This is one of my bigger issues as I’d love to buy their t-shirts and hoodies but they just don’t fit so I end up not spending as much in the gift shops. Since I started writing this, Thorpe Park have confirmed that for the 2023 season, they will have larger sizes which is great news!
Conclusion
This has been a substantial break down of Thorpe Park and the way it operates and looks. The park is great as it is but could be so much better in my opinion if some of the above things were changed!
Overall I do enjoy Thorpe Park as it offers some of the top rides in the UK, and though I’ve written substantially more about how the bad things are compared with the good, I’ll still be visiting regularly!
Flight of the Sky Lion is a flying theatre that opened at Legoland in 2021 as part of their Mythica expansion.
The idea behind the ride is that you board the ride vehicle and are then taken away on a journey by a magical Sky Lion called Maximus into his dimension. The world is inhabited by creatures unlike anything in ours and the best part about it all is that the animals you see are all created by real people in Lego before recreated for the on screen video.
The queue is quite long and winding and the first time we went, we waited in excess of an hour and a half for the attraction due to COVID restrictions. I’ve subsequently reridden it and it took a much more reasonable 30 minutes.
The first time I experienced Flight of the Sky Lion, I enjoyed it but I did feel that it was a bit over hyped. It was still a good time but not quite the best ride in the UK that was thrown about at the time. Upon riding it for a second time I noticed a glaring issue that breaks immersion for me and spoils the attraction a little. The top of the screen cuts off abruptly.
A little about the ride system for context. So the ride consists of 3 levels with ride arms on them but each level seems to give a similar experience.
I’ve tried both bottom and middle level and both times I’ve noticed the screen cut off at the top. Whilst doing a bit of research for this blog, it seems I’m not alone in noticing this either. It doesn’t completely ruin the attraction and make it unrideable or terrible by any stretch, but it does take away from the feeling of flight a little.
Because the screen is so vast, if you look down, you can’t see floor, only screen which is great as you feel like you’re incredibly high up, but when you look up, you see the top of the screen and then immersion is slightly lost.
Besides the issue with the screen, everything else is very excellent. The ride arms moves in time with what’s going on and is very smooth. The animation and video quality are excellent and believable too. On our second riding, we even got wind and water effects that I don’t recall getting on the first ride in 2021 which was a good addition to the whole experience.
I first had the though for this blog in August when we rode it for the second time as I felt like I had a lot to talk about. Between then and now however I’ve ridden The Guardian and that contextualised how Flight of the Sky Lion isn’t as bad as I thought. Both Flight and The Guardian do the same job. The Guardian just does it worse in every way unfortunately which makes Flight of the Sky Lion much better and makes me feel like I was being a bit too hard on the attraction and possibly having to my standards set a little too high.
Flight of the Sky Lion is a great attraction that fits into Legoland well and shows you a great world filled with weird and wonderful creatures. It has a small issue with screen cutting off but besides that, I don’t really have any other issues with the attraction now.
I hope I can get back on it this year to make my mind up fully but at the moment, you’re alright Flight of the Sky Lion, you’re alright.
Shockwave. Poor old Shockwave. It lives in a park that has gone through a lot of trouble in the past, had troubles of its own and was even over shadowed (until recently) by another roller coaster in the same area, that being G-Force.
The problems Shockwave has faced didn’t start here though, they started right when the attraction was built!
The beginning
Drayton Manor bought this Intamin Stand Up roller coaster from a booth at the 1992 Internation Association of Amusement Parks and Attractions show (IAAPA) and proceeded to build the coaster over the next year. Issues were found when testing started though as the test car couldn’t navigate the zero G roll so another price of track was needed.
Once the ride finally opened in March 1994, it was another uphill struggle as it was competing against Nemesis at Alton Towers.
So we’ve finally gotten the ride installed and opened and all is well, there’s a bit of competition from Nemesis but Shockwave can still shine though. Until Blackpool Pleasure Beach opens the world tallest and fastest roller coaster in May 1994, 2 months after Shockwave opens!
I don’t know at the time what ride attendance was but it can be assumed that Shockwave will have had a smaller number than it was entitled to because of the record breaking Pepsi Max Big One.
Nemesis didn’t really have too many issues as the ride was in a well respected park, had had plenty of investment and advertising done and the ride itself was unique to Europe with it being the first inverted roller coaster outside of North America.
Yeah sure Shockwave was a stand-up coaster and featured a unique zero G roll, a feat it still retains to this day, but would Joe public be as interested in a stand up coaster over an inverted coaster and the world’s tallest? I’m not so sure!
Shockwave today
If I could go back and look at all 3 on paper and decide which I’d prefer to give the most attention to, it would certainly be The Big One, then probably Nemesis, leaving Shockwave last to go and see.
Knowing what I know now though, I rate Nemesis the best of the 3, then Shockwave and finally Big One. A lot has changed since 1994, Big One isn’t the tallest or fastest in the world, Nemesis has got direct competition from Nemesis Inferno, as well as a plethora of other great European inverted coasters. Which just leaves Shockwave.
Things have gotten better for the old Intamin as stand up coasters have fallen out of favour, with many being converted to a much more appealing floorless coaster, a sentiment I’m not sure I mirror! As more and more stand-up coasters are converted, Shockwave gets rarer and rarer and hopefully, more sought after as a ride!
Shockwave still remains today as a stand up coaster and the only one in the UK, one of 2 in Europe and one of roughly 10 still operating worldwide. They are a rare breed of coaster, but Shockwave is the single last remaining to be built by Intamin. It might not look like much to most, but it is actually unique!
So what do I think of Shockwave?
I adore this coaster. Though it’s quite short and has some weird design choices such as the straight piece of track out of the station and dip before the lift hill, the rest is thoroughly enjoyable. It’s not without its faults though as you can get a bit of head banging from the restraints and the final brake run into the station is very harsh.
The very first time I rode it, I found the restrains a little confusing despite watching the videos that play in the queue line, but 1 ride was all it took to understand how they work. There is a saddle that you can ‘sit’ on so when the restraints are locked, make sure your legs are straight and your feet flat so you don’t get any discomfort from this bumping into you.
The first drop is pleasant and smooth, heading into the vertical loop that feels very unusual when navigated whilst standing. You can sometimes get a bit of a knock here as well as the zero G roll following the loop. Next is a small flat piece of track before two corkscrews that also feel really unusual but have great force and are very thrilling before the train turns around and heads into the final brake run. Once again be prepared for this as it is very abrupt and it will remove glasses and other loose articles if not strapped down!
No one ever seems to talk about Shockwave. Nemesis is always lauded, and rightly so, and Big One still gets attention as the UKs tallest but I’d rather ride Shockwave over Big One if I had to choose between the two. Big One has gotten a lot of retracking but is still quite rough, both Nemesis and Shockwave are still running on their original rails and I’d personally say they ride as well as each other in terms of roughness.
Since writing that, Nemesis has now been taken apart ready for its retrack which might make it ride differently, but I don’t think it’ll change enough to make it a bad ride or anything. Big One has had retracking done, and if I’m being brutally honest, it hasn’t made the slightest difference in ride quality.
Nemesis is still better themed, has better operations and is superior a ride to the other two, but Shockwave comfortable takes second for me. It’s shorter layout means its single train still gets sent out as fast as they can, and Big One runs multiple trains but their operations are dreadful in my opinion!
Call it my own ignorance of how the ride works, but there are plenty of block sections on Big One. Surely they can run 3 trains, load one, have one on the layout and another approaching the final brakes, if not waiting there already! I should stand and watch both rides for a bit and see which one is actually faster for dispatches as it would be interesting to see!
I don’t think there is anything they could do to make Shockwave better than Nemesis and if I’m being honest, I don’t think I’d want them to. It could do with a second train for capacity sake and if they could smooth it out to be like Icon then it would make the decision even harder.
So Shockwave then, a ride overshadowed by two bigger rides that I think deserves its time in the sun, at least a little! Not the UKs tallest, not the UKs fastest, but a unique ride that will certainly divide its ridership, some love it, some hate it but for me, I love it!
Alton Towers is set well into the Staffordshire countryside amongst the ruins of the famous Alton Towers stately home. In this guide, I aim to give my own tips and suggestions of how to get the most out of a day at Alton Towers, from arriving at the park, to food options and advice!
Arriving
There are two main ways to get to the park, by car and public transport. No matter how you arrive at the park, I would definitely suggest getting there between 9:00 and 9:30. This gives you time to do toilet breaks before you enter the park, go through security checks before the main gates and get into the park.
Arriving by Car
The monorail (red) runs between the entrance plaza and main car park
The park is accessed via road through the village of Alton or Farley and has a lot of twisting country roads, some of these can be quite tight so take your time. You’ll have 2 car park options, the first of which is right by the front gates called express parking, but costs a bit more than standard. The second is using the general car park which is cheaper, but does require a 15 minute walk up to the front gates, or waiting for the parks Monorail, which starts running at 9am. (Though it can sometimes start running late so the walk can be quicker)
Car parking charges are as follows:
Standard car parking is £7 (free if you hold a gold (previously premium) or platinum Merlin Annual Pass)
Express Car Parking is £19 (but is reduced to £12 for passholders)
Blue Badge Disabled parking is also charged at £7 but is located next to the express car park (included with Gold or Platinum passes too)
Main Car ParkExpress and disabled car parking
Public Transport
The bus stop is highlighted here in white
The other way to access the park is by public transport. This is unfortunately something I have never done as we live too far away for it to be a viable way to get there. There is a bus stop on site right by the main entrance and has buses that go between Stoke on Trent, Nottingham, and Derby.
Taken from the Alton Towers website, you’ll want the X41 if travelling from between Stafford – Uttoexeter – Alton Towers, 32X which is between Hanley – Cheadle and Alton Towers, or the X52 which runs from Nottingham, Derby and the Alton Towers Resort.
The closest train station is Uttoexeter, but there is also Derby and Stoke on Trent which are well connected too. Do take into account that you’ll need about 30 minutes if coming from Uttoexeter by bus, 1 hour if coming from Derby, and about 25 minutes from Stoke on Trent (though this would be by taxi).
Park Entrance, Turnstiles and Towers Street
Google maps view of Towers Street
The park entrance is home to the famous Corkscrew rollercoasters’ Corkscrews as a static welcoming display, as well as the monorail station, toilets in the corner and security.
It is advised to arrive with as little as needed, but I generally turn up with a bag full of cameras, food and supplies, and I get through security quite quickly. Once you’ve gotten through security, you’ll be getting to the turnstiles, here you’ll scan your pass or tickets and be into the a park!
The first area you’ll encounter is Towers Street and has a few food and beverage outlets towards the bottom. You’ll also find toilets, lockersguest services at the very top by the entrance to the right. Next down is the resort box office. Here you’ll be able to buy photo passes, ride fast passes and various upgrades to your visit. The box office tends to get very busy at the end of the day as people try to sort out photo passes and digital photos, where guest services gets very busy at the start of the day with ride access passes and queries.
Towers Street during the annual Scarefest event
Ride access passes are another element of Alton Towers, and the wider Merlin group, that I have no information about as I’ve never used them. Thought gist seems to be that they are designed for guests who need extra assistance or can’t queue for extended periods of time . This isn’t the same as fast passes though, so do take this into account. You’ll be given more information when you apply for it than I ever could so click here to find out more about it!
The final stop on Towers Street is Towers Trading, the resorts shop. Here you’ll find all sorts of merchandise, ranging from gloves and socks, to T-shirts, ride resins, pin badges, prints and more! I do advise visiting the shop early as they do allow you to leave your purchases behind to be picked up later on which will save a lot of time as the stop gets busy as the park closes. You’ll need to leave a few details and keep your receipt too!
Towers Trading, the parks shop
Planning your day
There are a fair few themed areas with attraction in each.
Towers Street with shops and guest services
Forbidden Valley where Nemesis (closed for 2023), The Blade, Funk n’ Fly and Galactica reside.
Dark Forest with Rita and Th13teen.
X Sector is home to The Smiler and Oblivion, Twistotron and Spinjam
CBeebies land has all the childrens rides.
Gloomy wood is a walk through area that connects The Curse at Alton Manor(the parks dark ride) to Mutiny Bay.
Mutiny Bay is home to Wicker Man, Heave Ho and Marauders Mayhem
Katanga Canyon, home to Runaway Mine Train and Congo River Rapids.
The World of David Walliams is where you’ll find Gangsta Granny The Ride, Raj’s Bouncy Bottom Burp and Flavio’s Fabulous Fandango.
Assuming you’ve arrived early and gotten through the gates by around 9:30 or so, head straight to either Wicker Man or the Dark Forest. When we go, I usually get to Wicker Man first as the queue starts to form before the rides open at 10am (something in the enthusiast community known as a rope drop). Beating the rope drop means you’ll start waiting for a ride before the ride opens, lessening your time used during park opening hours, if that makes sense?
Wicker Man – The parks most recent coaster
The reason I suggest Wicker Man and Dark Forest is because Wicker Man gets busy and stays busy all day, so less time lost waiting for it, is more time trying other attractions. Dark Forest on the other hand is a good walk away from the entrance so not many people head there, meaning you’ll be able to ride Th13teen and Rita without waiting much at all.
If you started at Wicker Man, your next best stop would be Katanga Canyon, then The Curse at Alton Manor, then onto Forbidden Valley. If you started in the Dark Forest, then you’d be better going to The World of David Walliams, then using the Sky Ride to get over to Forbidden Valley.
The Sky Ride usually opens around 11am and will take you from Towers Street to Forbidden Valley, and then to Dark Forest, and back again.
The Skyride.
The rides that tend to have lower queues throughout the day are:
Hex (more on this later)
Heave Ho (a rocking tug boat ride in Mutiny Bay)
Marauders Mayhem (themed tea cups in Mutiny Bay)
Battle Galleons (a splash battle ride which can get busy if the weather is warm and dry)
Flavio’s Fabulous Fandango (a twister ride in The World of David Walliams)
The Royal Carousel (a carousel set in The World of David Walliams)
Raj’s Bouncy Bottom Burp (A junior frog hopper ride also in The World of David Walliams)
Most of CBeeBies land is busy until around dinnertime when it starts to quiet down, so if you’re heading there, I’d wait until later on in the day. Notable rides here are Octonauts, Postman Pats Parcel Post, Get Set Go Treetop Adventure and In the Night Garden Magical Boat Ride (all of which can be enjoyed by anyone, not just the kids!)
All the main roller coasters will be busy during the day, though The Smiler and Wicker Man usually have the longer lines. Galactica is hit and miss as to whether that gets too busy, though it will be alone in Forbidden Valley for the 2023 season so it might see more riders, therefore longer queues! Oblivion can also get busy, but usually runs many trains and therefore gets through guests quite quickly too.
Rita and Th13teen (if not done early) can get busy, usually around the 45 minute mark and Th13teen also won’t run in any rain at all, so it might be worth riding it early if you know rain is on the way. Finally there’s Runaway Mine Train, which has quite a high capacity, but can sometimes get very lengthy queues, especially if its running more than 2 laps of the track.
One of the biggest suggestions I have for visiting Alton Towers is making sure you’re not losing time by walking long distances back and forth between areas. The app will certainly help you here as it allows you to see what rides have what queues in real time so you can head to or avoid certain areas.
The app showing live queue times (all closed as the park isn’t open currently!)
The Sky Ride is also a great transport option, so if you do start in Dark Forest, you can use it to get all the way back to Wicker Man and the Mutiny Bay area, or stop off at Forbidden Valley. The choice is yours as each day is different so its impossible to say for certain what an optimal route through the park will be every time you go.
One final thing to note is that queue lines close at the parks advertised closing time, but the rides don’t. So if you wanted to have a go on The Smiler buy have been waiting all day for a smaller queue, it might be worth waiting until last thing, joining the queue and guaranteeing a ride. For the last ride of the day, I do suggest Wicker Man or The Smiler due to their lengthy queues throughout the day and neither one should be missed if time allows!
On a side note, if you are reading this and just starting out as an avid thrill seeker, it’s worth mentioning that rides run differently depending on the time of day you ride them. They need to warm up, and a properly warmed up roller coaster will run slightly faster than one that’s taking its first circuit for the day. Wicker Man, The Smiler, Nemesis (when it reopens) and Rita are all worth a few different rides to see how they compare!
It might also be worth leaving Forbidden Valley until the end of the day as there’s a gate by Galactica’s portal that opens up straight to the car park saving you a long walk or waiting for the monorail.
Food Options
Alton Towers has plenty of different food options, ranging from takeaway hotdogs and snacks, to steaks, gourmet burgers and chicken.
We usually alternate between Burger Kitchen, which is at the back of the park by The World of David Walliams, Pizza and Pasta Buffet in Katanga Canyon and Just Chicken in X Sector. Though if you want to get as much done as possible, I would suggesting bringing your own food options and eating whilst in a queue to minimise downtime.
Last year we visited the park with a friend who has a vegan centric diet and we found that offerings were a bit thin on the ground, so it might be worth bringing your own if you have specific dietary needs. Each venue we looked at seemed to have 1 or 2 vegan/vegetarian options which might not suit everyone.
There is also Woodcutters Bar and Grill, which is aimed at healthier eating, and offers things like steaks, hunters chicken, halloumi, a good offering of non gluten meals as well as drinks too.
As I mentioned previously, it is worth bringing along your own food along if you want to get the most out of the day as you can easily lose an hour queing to buy food, then waiting for it to be made and of course eating it. If you do end up eating in the park, eat early or late as the restaurants get busy around the hours of 12 til around 2/3pm, at least from what we’ve seen!
Another thing to consider is if you are going to spend some time eating, it might be worth looking at the Rollercoaster Restaurant in Forbidden Valley (right next to Galactica). At the time I’m writing this, you can’t book for any time before 16:00 but if you’ve ridden all you want to and have worked up an appetite, then Rollercoaster Restaurant is a good stop.
It is the UKs only restaurant of its type and food is sent from the kitchens down tracks to each table. You order using a tablet and each table has a Lazy Susan to allow you to grab your food without getting up. It can be a little pricy, but it is a proper restaurant and worth trying at least once!
A quick overview of the bigger rides
If you’re just starting out as a thrillseeker, or you’re unsure of your ride tolerances, then the best starting ride would be Runaway Mine Train. It has a little force, but for the most part is quite gentle, and has great interaction between guests and the ride operators!
The next coaster up would probably be Th13teen. Though it does have a surprise element, it is best left as a secret and tried for the first time without knowing what’s coming. The ride itself is on the gentler side, but does have a few thrills too! It can’t run in the rain or even light mist as the lift hill uses drive tyres that don’t work as well when its wet.
Next on the thrill scale would be Spinball Whizzer. This is a spinning coaster so depending on your tolerance to spinning, it might be something to avoid at first. It doesn’t always spin very fast, sometimes barely spinning at all but it is a fun little ride and worth a visit! If you want to try it and have as little spinning as possible, try to ride it as a group of 4 where everyone weights about the same. The car will be evenly balanced and shouldn’t spin massively. On the other hand, if you want more spinning, try to put heaving guests on one side of the car and lighter on the other!
Wicker Man would be the next ride along as it is quite a loud and untamed wooden coaster. The theming and ride construction all add to the attraction, and the ride features a preshow to set up the story of the Beornen. If you feel like you want to start off in the middle ground, then Wicker Man is a great start as it offers good thrills and speed, lots of noise, no inversions and overall a good introduction to bigger rides.
Next up is Galactica. This is a very gentle giant and though it looks like a big and scary beast, it is quite the tame ride compared with the ones that follow! You’ll ride this one in a flying position, which sees you sitting down like a normal rollercoaster, but the seats will fold 90 degrees upwards so you’ll be looking at the ground to begin with. It is a unique feeling, especially in the UK but it will have you on your back for parts of the ride, so bare that in mind!
The next two I’d say are on equal footing depending on what you’re into/scared of. These are Rita and Oblivion. Rita is a launched coaster and manages to get from 0-62 in 2.5 seconds which is very thrilling. It’ll then navigate a series of turns before getting back to the station. It only last 55 seconds!
Rita in The Dark Forest.
Oblivion on the other hand is all about fear of heights. Though not actually the tallest rollercoaster at Alton Towers, it does still have the a formidable 180ft drop into the ground. The ride will hold you at the top giving you a chance to look straight down into the abyss before letting you free fall. Much like Rita, once you’ve done the scary bit, the ride is pretty much done so it’s a good taste of what bigger drops will feel like. If you want to avoid seeing the drop, but still want to try out the ride, ask for a back row ride as you can’t really see anything as the train doesn’t move far enough over the drop to the holding brakes.
Finally, the last two are parks signature attractions, Nemesis and The Smiler. Much like Rita and Oblivion, these two are closely matched based on what you might be into.
The Smiler is the parks world record holding inversion machine. It’ll see you turned upside down 14 times and it’s a very thrilling ride. As mentioned earlier, this one always gets longer queues so it’s worth visiting when you have a bit of time spare or as your last ride of the day. The ride did suffer a nasty accident in 2015, as it was all over the news, but since that day, it hasn’t had a single issue at all and is perfectly safe, so don’t let that put you off this record breaker!
The Smiler.
Finally there’s Nemesis. Currently this ride is closed for a major refurbishment so you’ll be unable to ride this I’m the 2023 season, but it’s worth knowing a bit about it before you go! The ride is an inverted coaster, so the track will be above you, unlike the other coasters at Alton Towers (except Galactica). The reason this one ties with The Smiler as top of the thrill chain is because of the forces the ride puts on you. It takes a lot of the elements with great speed and is also one of the very few rollercoasters from the UK to have acclaim abroad! We can’t wait until 2024 for it to reopen, and hopefully you’ll be able to join us there too!
I think I should mention some of the non rollercoaster attractions the park has too, with Hex being one of the most notable. Another ride that’s best tried without knowing what’s coming, this is a story based attraction with a ride section at the end, don’t spoil it for yourself, have a go yourself and enjoy, it’s really good fun!
The Curse At Alton Manor is new for 2023 and is a complete refresh for Duel, the parks interactive dark ride. The ride features a few jumps and scare and is quite family friendly, but may not be entirely suitable for smaller children or guests who fear the dark or don’t like jump scares. It must be tried at least once, as with Hex.
Heave Ho and Marauders Mayhem are both family rides in the Mutiny Bay section and are great for all ages as they are quite gentle and welcoming. Marauders Mayhem, being a themed tea cup ride, does allow you to manually spin your car so it can be quite forceful if you spin it a lot!
Battle Galleons! You’ll probably get wet though!
The park has 2 water rides, Battle Galleons and Congo River Rapids. Battle Galleons will get you fairly wet, where Congo River Rapids won’t so much. Though each ride does have dryers located next to their exits and have additional costs to use them. Though my advice here is to bring additional clothing if you do get soaked, and store it in a locker (or the car if you wanted to save money over saving time!)
Finally there the Retro Squad. These are a set of rides that Alton Towers brought in to help ride capacity. Currently there’s Funk n’Fly, a Super Trooper ride in Forbidden Valley, Spinjam is an Extreme model and Twistotron, a Trabant Style ride that both sit in X Sector. As for riding them, they are all run a lot slower than how they would be a funfairs so it might be better for some, and not for others!
Final few thoughts and tips
Fastrack tickets
This is a bit of a touchy subject with some folk, but I really don’t mind fast track tickets myself. The idea is that if you spend a bit extra, you can drastically shorten down the queue of a ride or multiple rides depending on the ticket you get. Each roller coaster has its own single use fast track ticket and costs £8 -£10 each.
They do also offer packages for the following:
Bronze* is £30 and gets 4 fast tracks on Hex, The Curse at Alton Manor, Spinball Whizzer or Runaway Mine train
Silver* is £50 and gets you 5 fast tracks on Wicker Man, Oblivion, Galactica, Rita, Th13teen or The Smiler
Gold* is £70 and gets you 12 fast tracks on Wicker Man, The Smiler, Galactica, Oblivion, Rita, TH13TEEN, Marauders Mayhem, Battle Galleons, Congo River Rapids, Runaway Mine Train and Spinball Whizzer, Gangsta Granny, Hex and The Curse at Alton Manor.
Platinum* is £110 and gets you on all the same rides as gold but as many times as you like during the day.
*Nemesis has since been removed from all packages and Gangsta Granny and The Curse at Alton Manor have been added.
Refillable drinks
The park offers a refillable drinks cup that costs £15 initially but drops to £8.50 if you bring back your cup and recharge it. There is also a hot drinks version too.
There is also a multi buy option that makes it cheaper the more cups you buy, which I can imagine is better for families. If you buy 2 or more, it’ll cost £14 per cup and 3+ will be £13. Not huge savings, but when a 500ml bottle of coke can cost around £2.80, these can be great value!
You can refill your drinks at any 1 of 16 machines throughout the park, these are located at the following:
Towers Street
Mutiny Bay – By the Welcome Inn opposite Wickerman
Katanga Canyon – By Congo River Rapids
The X sector – Behind Just Chicken
The Dark Forest – Next to Rita’s Photography unit
Forbidden Valley – By the Galactica Lift
Earlier I mentioned lockers and these are located at the very start of the park by the entrance and another set is located by Galactica in Forbidden Valley, some in X Sector and a final set are in Dark Forest. These are priced at
£5 for a small one per day
£10 for a large one per day
There’s also a first aid station located behind Towers Street before the skyride entrance, though this isn’t a facility I’ve ever had to use thankfully!
With that I think this mammoth guide has come to an end. I think I’ve covered everything you could possibly need to enjoy a decent day at Alton Towers! Don’t go with expectations of getting on every ride the first time around, this only happens of you’re very lucky and the park is quiet, but if you set realistic goals to ride the most important rides to you, anything over and above that is a bonus!
For context, the very first time we went to Alton Towers, we went in blind and managed Wicker Man, Nemesis, Galactica, Rita, Th13teen, Oblivion, The Smiler, Runaway Mine Train and Hex if I recall correctly. I did have a £25 fast pass which at the time got me on Nemesis, Galactica, The Smiler and Oblivion as Tracy wasn’t quite up to the big stuff just yet!
Cheat sheet for getting the most of your day
Arrive at the park gates for around 9:30
Head straight to Wicker Man or Dark Forest
Plan next stop based on queue times of next area
Wicker Man and The Smiler will be busy all day
Th13teen can’t run during the rain
Cbeebies land is quieter after 1pm
Bring your own food and eat in queues
Head to The Smiler just before queue lines close (unless it is quieter during the day)
Use the Skyride optimally, if you’re heading to Dark Forest, do The World of David Walliams next
It might be worth doing Forbidden Valley last as the park opens the Galactica gate for exiting to the car park (also the possibility of eating at the Rollercoaster Restaurant)
And there we have it. This has taken quite a while to write and I hope at least 1 person finds it useful! Feel free to reach out and contact me if you have any questions or suggestions around this guide!
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