Welcome to a new series of blogs I’d like to introduce. In these blogs I intend to talk about many of the UK’s parks, what I like and what I don’t. These are purely from a fantasy point of view and more so, just a bit of fun!
I’ve been meaning to talk about Flamingo Land a few times now. We visited in July 2021 and I did intend to blog about our day but was kept busy with the holiday blogs so it fell to the wayside. I feel there is a lot to talk about with this park so thought I’d do it here at the same time as discussing changes I’d make if I were in charge!
The good stuff
Flamingo Land has some really decent rides, especially its roller coasters. Velocity, Mumbo Jumbo and Kumali are all fine examples of their respective types, and a couple are quite unique in their own right. Velocity is the only Booster Bike rollercoaster in the UK, Mumbo Jumbo is the steepest, and though people give Hero a lot of negativity, it’s a unique take on flying and the only Zamperla Volare in the UK too.
The zoo is also good and though it has a lot of different species, it isn’t too spread out and kept to one side of the park, away from the noisier rides. I also like that they do a lot of work for conservation, much like Chessington does in their zoo.
The not so good
The first thing I think needs discussing with Flamingo Land is its dire lack of proper theming and how untidy the park looks!
The park does have named areas such as Metropolis, Dino Stone Park and Lost Kingdom Reserve, but they all feel a little lacking. Dino Stone Park is probably the better area in the park as it has a few dinosaurs scattered about and a bit of theming here and there but not much!
There is also a fair few buildings that are standing but either don’t have a use or have seemingly been left abandoned. Specifically around the side of Velocity. Now this could be an access route for construction traffic to build their new rollercoaster, but if this is the case, couldn’t they close it off from view a little bit? If it’s not the case then they could really utilize it better than leaving it in a state.
Next is the shocking lack of merchandise on offer at the park. This will be a common complaint from me in many of my future ‘What I’d Do’ blogs.
So what would I do about it?
We’ve seen what Paulton’s Park can do with their theming and I’d love to see Flamingo Land get the same sort of treatment.
Metropolis would look great with some facias put up around Hero, include the new 10 inversion rollercoaster and Velocity in the overall theme and add a shop beside Velocity that sells Metropolis ride themed merchandise.
Lost Kingdom Reserve could do with seeing a load more rock work and planting, and a general tidy up, repaint some of the existing theming on Mumbo Jumbo and Kumali and add a bit more static theming here and there. Maybe some tribal huts or a campsite or something like that.
I’d put some really good quality animatronics in around Dino Stone Park too, and really lean into the prehistoric theme! There’s some decent rockwork surrounding Pterodactyl that I’d love to see extended a bit more around the area, and the plants and green spaces spruced up.
The entrance to the park could do to see some work too. I feel that the Pirates of Zanzibar show and stage are great to welcome visitors but the area surrounding it hasn’t got the same theme and it feels a bit mismatched!
To the left of the entrance is a large plot of unused land that I feel could be used for a new entrance to the park, with it leading through the lost River Reserve area before Metropolis. To achieve this, I’d swap all the rides in both areas around so that you’d be greeted with a safari themed area, before the other areas of the park.
This is of course a purely hypothetical idea as it would cost far too much to move the rides about! It would mean that you’d see Lost River Reserve, followed by Dino Stone Park and then a Pirate themed area too before Metropolis.
As for the ride line up at Flamingo Land, personally I think its decent. It has a good mix of thrill rides, transportation and gentle rides, as well as rides for younger audiences too. I don’t think much is needed at the park, especially when their 10 inversion rollercoaster opens, but they could maybe do with a few more flat rides here and there, or an interactive dark ride!
I’d really like to see an obscure record breaker here again, since Mumbo Jumbo did once hold the record as world’s steepest roller coaster. Something along the lines of that, or maybe a particularly long coaster or an exceptionally themed one would go down well.
I don’t really think anything needs removing as such, since most of the rides seem to fit in the parks overall line up, though I would remove Flip Flop and replace it with something like a Top Spin, heavily themed so it fits in the Splosh area of the park and make sure it interacts properly with water jets.
I know it used to have a Waikiki Wave called Tidal Wave until 2008, and it would be great to see another one as they’re dying out all over the place and it would fit right at home here.
I’d also do some work on Mischief Mansion and turn it into an interactive shooting ride, along the lines of Laser Raiders at Legoland. Keep the theme and family friendly fun, but add some guns, targets and activatable effects to help it stand out from the others. I know we have a good selection of these in the UK, but only Laser Raiders and Sheriff Showdown have interaction between the targets and animatronics.
I’d leave Muddy Duck Farm mostly untouched as it’s a fine area on its own. The rides suite the area, there isn’t much theming but I don’t feel it needs it.
Other than that, I think the park isn’t bad in its current state, but far from the best. I’ve essentially laid out my hypothetical plans to turn Flamingo Land into Paulton’s of the north. I think Paulton’s is a great park on it’s own but Flamingo Land has much more thrilling rides so could very easily stand on its own, especially since Lightwater Valley seems to be moving towards a younger audience!
Final thoughts
For me, Flamingo Land sits somewhere between Fantasy Island, Oakwood and Drayton Manor. All 3 of those parks do similar things to Flamingo Land, targeting the audiences that Merlin Entertainment and Blackpool Pleasure Beach don’t manage to entice into their properties and Flamingo Land should be doing the same.
Currently it’s probably middle of the table when stacked against the other attractions here in the UK, but with investment and a good plan for the future, it could easily sit on par with Paulton’s Park or even play with the big boys like Alton Towers or Pleasure Beach!
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